This year I just accepted the fact that there would be moments where I would be uncomfortable, and that being uncomfortable is probably good for us once in a while. Mostly, I looked forward to seeing women who I now count among friends. The surprise was how much joy I took in watching new women break wide open and BEAM! 

It is my belief that the human’s next evolutionary challenge will be to revive such innate
and astounding sensibilities and to follow their powerful lead, without throwing out or
losing what we have gained through painful effort and sacrifice over the last centuries of
human exploration and development. We cannot and should not go back to what we
were before these advances, nor can we afford to ignore any longer the parts of ourselves
that were shut off in order to proceed as we have. The human’s psychological life,
emotional life, spiritual life and the earth itself can no longer sustain the effects of the
autism that has developed.

It is that time again! The very first weekend retreat we hosted when The Homestead opened its doors was The Women's Wellness Retreat. We are about to host our third and I start to get this exciting feeling in my stomach at the beginning of January just thinking about reconnecting with women in such a special way. This blog post is from Mandi Sanders, a natural family educator and herbalist who has taught workshops at The Homestead since it started.

I "over-share" for three reasons. One, I know I am only saying out loud what so many people experience behind closed doors. Two, I hope sharing my story makes someone else brave enough to know they can make it through their own. Three, I feel called to connect with people on a deeper level. Stick your toe into that electric current with me and feel that ZAP of being truly alive, human, and connected!

I knew Max was having a good year, but I have tried to give him the space he needs as he gets older. I was floored. In the middle of a state who always falls to the bottom of funding and performance in education, in the middle of a school where the pressure for teachers to raise test scores is intense, in the middle of an educational system where we are trying to squeeze blood out of turnips, I found a peaceful holiday celebration led by a teacher wrapped in bows.

I don't remember what our parents thought about the "White Envelope Gift." I don't remember anything special about that holiday at all. I do know, that at a time when were were most concerned with how to get beer underaged, my brother and I were doing something we believed our parents thought was important. I know our mom and dad's values led us to cross tracks and reach out in our own version of trying to heal a little tear in the world. I know I felt safe because I was with my brother, even if I wasn't. And, I know I want to pass on a set of values to my kids that allows them to take risks out of love.

When we enjoy saying NO to the things that do not light us up from the inside, we make space and a chance to really say YES when the right things rolls along. Many of us who are empathic or sensitive need to grow comfortable with disappointing others. Because more sensitive people can feel that brief disappointment from the other, it’s hard to say NO. However, when you say YES for the sake of NOT feeling the discomfort, you are ultimately not only harming yourself, you are harming others as well. If we rush around saying YES, we undermine our richness, our fullness, and our ability to be PRESENT with our true self and the BIGGER YESes.

Almost a year ago this month, I was able to go off antidepressants for the first time since my early twenties. I have finally learned the tools necessary for life with a wonky brain. I got scared that I might sink when life threw curve balls like death in the way. Instead, I am able to feel the fullness of my grandparents' lives. Because they are part of me, I am able to pull out tools like healthy routines, prayer, and exercise and delve into the beautiful sadness of saying good-bye. 

We are completing our second year of operating The Homestead Center. When we started, Mike and I agreed to give it three years to see if the community supported our efforts enough to become financially viable, and we are getting close! Thank you to all of you who made the programming at the Homestead possible with your Memberships. What a year it has been!

Here are a few of my favorite moments. 

Alison

Once you feel encouraged by the changes you have made, you might be ready to take another important step in healing. Elimination. Now, I know that name sounds terrifying to those of us with addictive behaviors. It causes our stomachs to clench up and kicks in our, I'm outta here response mechanisms. But just hear me out.