Thank God for my children. If I hadn't had the sheer panic of motherhood thrown on me, I am sure I would look like the lady who hangs out by the gas station where I pump gas. I'm not sure if she works there, or if she has deemed herself some unofficial smoker-greeter, or what her deal is. But there she is, waving at me and talking through her exhale and wrinkles every time I stop to fill up, reminding me of my alter-future.

It wasn't so much that we couldn't find things that were healthy, it was the sheer overload of things that weren't. I swear 90% of the food was saw had gluten or sugar in it. My husband and boys went crazy! They were so happy to be away from our normal diet that I am surprised one didn't end up in a coma. Max saved forty dollars for the trip and spent every last bit on cotton candy, Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, and Skittles. I watched him thinking my parenting attempts may have backfired in a big way.

People feel bad when I say we have to eat gluten free because of Cecelia's allergies. I used to feel bad for us too! But here are some of the things the things that have disappeared from our life since we changed our diet: allergies, eczema, depression, and a sensory disorder. Do I want a loaf of french bread with my soup? Of corse I do. But do I want those health issues to return as a trade off? No bread is that good.

This year I just accepted the fact that there would be moments where I would be uncomfortable, and that being uncomfortable is probably good for us once in a while. Mostly, I looked forward to seeing women who I now count among friends. The surprise was how much joy I took in watching new women break wide open and BEAM! 

It is my belief that the human’s next evolutionary challenge will be to revive such innate
and astounding sensibilities and to follow their powerful lead, without throwing out or
losing what we have gained through painful effort and sacrifice over the last centuries of
human exploration and development. We cannot and should not go back to what we
were before these advances, nor can we afford to ignore any longer the parts of ourselves
that were shut off in order to proceed as we have. The human’s psychological life,
emotional life, spiritual life and the earth itself can no longer sustain the effects of the
autism that has developed.

It is that time again! The very first weekend retreat we hosted when The Homestead opened its doors was The Women's Wellness Retreat. We are about to host our third and I start to get this exciting feeling in my stomach at the beginning of January just thinking about reconnecting with women in such a special way. This blog post is from Mandi Sanders, a natural family educator and herbalist who has taught workshops at The Homestead since it started.

I "over-share" for three reasons. One, I know I am only saying out loud what so many people experience behind closed doors. Two, I hope sharing my story makes someone else brave enough to know they can make it through their own. Three, I feel called to connect with people on a deeper level. Stick your toe into that electric current with me and feel that ZAP of being truly alive, human, and connected!

I knew Max was having a good year, but I have tried to give him the space he needs as he gets older. I was floored. In the middle of a state who always falls to the bottom of funding and performance in education, in the middle of a school where the pressure for teachers to raise test scores is intense, in the middle of an educational system where we are trying to squeeze blood out of turnips, I found a peaceful holiday celebration led by a teacher wrapped in bows.

I don't remember what our parents thought about the "White Envelope Gift." I don't remember anything special about that holiday at all. I do know, that at a time when were were most concerned with how to get beer underaged, my brother and I were doing something we believed our parents thought was important. I know our mom and dad's values led us to cross tracks and reach out in our own version of trying to heal a little tear in the world. I know I felt safe because I was with my brother, even if I wasn't. And, I know I want to pass on a set of values to my kids that allows them to take risks out of love.

When we enjoy saying NO to the things that do not light us up from the inside, we make space and a chance to really say YES when the right things rolls along. Many of us who are empathic or sensitive need to grow comfortable with disappointing others. Because more sensitive people can feel that brief disappointment from the other, it’s hard to say NO. However, when you say YES for the sake of NOT feeling the discomfort, you are ultimately not only harming yourself, you are harming others as well. If we rush around saying YES, we undermine our richness, our fullness, and our ability to be PRESENT with our true self and the BIGGER YESes.